You Deserve What You Tolerate

One of my famous quotes is "you deserve what you tolerate." So many questions can be answered with the one, simple phrase.

When a friend or family member complains about something/someone in their life, my quick reply is - 'you deserve what you tolerate.' I can speak it, because I've walked it. I hate it when people speak on things that they've never walked out in their own life. How much more hypocritical could you be?! Walk it, then talk it!

Maybe that is why I don't have a bevy of friends waiting around to hang out with me, etc. I am not the 'good-time' pal. I keep it real in my life and in my advice. I AM the person people come to when they want to hear the truth.

I have a 21 year old daughter and over the years I have built up relationships with several of her friends. These people, both male and female, come to me for advice when they absolutely need to hear the facts and the truth of the situation. I don't sugar coat anything and I don't make any attempts to make you feel better. Like the old saying goes 'the truth hurts.' And oftentimes that is the case.

But mostly, as I mentioned, the questions asked by people seeking advice can be answered by one of the following quotes:

1. you deserve what you tolerate
2. if you have to beg 'em to come, you'll have to beg 'em to stay
3. man will do what man wants to do, regardless of the situation or circumstances
4. it matters not what we accumulate in life, but whom we affect in the process
5. you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink

So many times when someone is moaning about their partner, I simply say 'well you deserve what you tolerate...how much are you going to tolerate?' What are you willing to tolerate in your life? Granted, relationships and friendships take work and require compromise. I am not advising that they don't. But you have to, at some point, make a decision about what you are willing to tolerate. What does that person/relationship mean to you and how much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice for it? This could be applied in personal relationships or work or social clubs, etc.

Example - you personally do not drink and your partner is a borderline alcoholic. You constantly see them using alcohol to escape their reality and leave you to face your won reality and theirs at the same time. You end up cleaning up their messes, both literal and not. You end up making excuses. You end up putting far more work into the relationship than your partner would ever do. My advice - you deserve what you tolerate. I personally don't want to hear the bitching and complaining about it. It's not really that difficult of a situation to assess - How much do you love yourself? Do you deserve to be used as a doormat and a scapegoat constantly? You do if you continue to remain in the same situation. So get help for yourself or shut up already. Man will do what man WANTS to do, regardless of the situation or circumstance. If you really didn't want to be in that situation, you wouldn't and there are too many people who have gotten out and lived to tell the story to convince me any different.

You deserve what you tolerate. Try to keep up.